Why you should obey your parents

The idea of disobeying our parents has not been far from the mind of every girl in every part of the world at some moment in her life. If we are truly honest with ourselves, obeying our parents can be an active struggle, a mundane, pointless task, and even be the last thing we want to do. So why was Miley Cyrus’ plea not to listen to our parents such an outrage? What’s the big deal? Is it really that important to obey our parents?

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right."

I still recite this verse with a sing-song tone rolling my eyes at the memories it brings to my mind. Now that I am an adult child who at younger times “pushed the boundaries” my parents set, I see the biblical precedence and the reason behind it. As a growing child, it is important to obey your parents. But when we get older and move from childhood to womanhood, do we still have to obey? As a grown woman, at what point can I stop listening to my parents? Is there a difference between honoring & obeying?

YES. There is.

Defining Obedience

Obedience carries with it the idea of absolute submission resulting from absolute trust. Webster defines obeyas meaning “to conform or comply with; to follow the commands or guidance of.” It has with it implications of completely falling under the authority and jurisdiction of another person so that this individual is now responsible for you and the things that you do. In Scripture, it is most often used in reference to a child learning something from a parent (Prov.1:8; 23:22; Col. 3:20; Eph. 6:1; Lev. 19:3, 32), or Israel learning something from GodThe idea of disobeying our parents has not been far from the mind of every girl in every part of the world at some moment in her life. If we are truly honest with ourselves, obeying our parents can be an active struggle, a mundane, pointless task, and even be the last thing we want to do. So why was Miley Cyrus’ plea not to listen to our parents such an outrage? What’s the big deal? Is it really that important to obey our parents?

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

I still recite this verse with a sing-song tone rolling my eyes at the memories it brings to my mind. Now that I am an adult child who at younger times “pushed the boundaries” my parents set, I see the biblical precedence and the reason behind it. As a growing child, it is important to obey your parents. But when we get older and move from childhood to womanhood, do we still have to obey? As a grown woman, at what point can I stop listening to my parents? Is there a difference between honoring & obeying?

YES. There is.

Defining Obedience

Obedience carries with it the idea of absolute submission resulting from absolute trust. Webster defines obeyas meaning “to conform or comply with; to follow the commands or guidance of.” It has with it implications of completely falling under the authority and jurisdiction of another person so that this individual is now responsible for you and the things that you do. In Scripture, it is most often used in reference to a child learning something from a parent (Prov.1:8; 23:22; Col. 3:20; Eph. 6:1; Lev. 19:3, 32), or Israel learning something from God.

What careers can a Christian do?

At times we think that Christians should aspire to "Christian careers" like working at a church or in a parachurch ministry. We may realize that Christians can also work outside the walls of the church or the Christian name, but then we tend to limit ourselves to the “helping” professions. Christians can be doctors, nurses, teachers, child care workers, social workers, law enforcement officers, or counselors. But a businessman? A lawyer? An IT guru? An inventor? A builder? A fashion designer? A news anchor? A TV producer? A musician? An artist? We tend not to list these jobs among the most desirable work for Christians. There is nothing biblical about such a limiting stance.

Christians can consider almost any career. Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. . . . Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) . . . So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God" (1 Corinthians 7:17, 20-21, 24). Paul does not tell the believers to leave their current work and become missionaries or pastors. He tells them to remain where they are and serve God there. Paul wrote something similar to the Colossians, "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:17). It is not so much what we are doing that matters, as for whom we are doing it. We glorify God when we work hard and cheerfully, whether as a pastor, an investor, an actor, a stay-at-home mother, or a barista.

Choosing a career can be difficult. Obviously, it is a matter for prayer. You should seek God's direction for His will for your life. It can also be helpful to examine the specific gifts God has given you. He makes us each different (1 Corinthians 12; Romans 12:4-8) with unique desires, talents, and interests, and for unique purposes. It is also helpful to talk with those who know you well. Such people can serve as wise counselors (Proverbs 15:22), often providing helpful insight. It may also be beneficial to shadow or interview someone in your potential career field or to volunteer in the field to which you feel drawn.

Christians may consider any career in which they can honor God and use the uniqueness with which God created them. Of course, there are certain careers that are inherently dishonoring to God—most of them not strictly legal, such as prostitution or pornography. But any career that does not require sin in its performance is laudable Christian work and can be done to the glory of God (Colossians 3:23).

How do you handle temptation?

How do you handle temptation?

I’m not talking about the fleeting, seemingly benign thought of sin that may hold initial allure, but is easily dismissed. (Though we should be on guard against these kinds of thoughts, too).

No, I’m talking about that moment when you’ve savored the juicy morsel and like the taste. You clamp down your jaws and suddenly feel the sharp piercing desire for more and a forceful tug towards deliberate, willful sin. You realize that you’ve swallowed a hook and the angler is reeling you in. Your better judgment, and God’s Word, and the Holy Spirit are whispering “No.” But your appetites and emotions are screaming, “Yes!”

I have in mind those times when you are like Peter in the courtyard, your heart frenzied by fear, about to commit an act of cowardice and treachery. Or David on the rooftop, seized by lust’s hot desire, teetering on the brink of adultery. Or Moses at the rock, boiling in anger, poised to open a valve that will erupt into a rebellious torrent of volcanic rage.  

Can you still escape temptation when you’re in that deep?

The great 17th century pastor and theologian, John Owen, though so. In his incisive and insightful book on temptation, Owen provides both analysis and diagnosis for tempted souls, with directions for watching and praying in order to avoid temptation. But, wise soul physician that he was, Owen also offered counsel to the person already in temptation’s tenacious grip.

Suppose the soul has been surprised by temptation, and entangled at unawares, so that now it is too late to resist the first entrances of it. What shall such a soul do that it be not plunged into it, and carried away with the power thereof?[i]

He counsels four things that I find both helpful and hopeful but will phrase in mostly my own words.                                                                                                                                                                                                                     (1) Pray. Ask the Lord for help.

You’re about to sink under the waves. The water is to your neck. You’re gasping for air, but gulping mouthfuls of water. Your breath is gone. You’re about to go under. What do you do? Cry out with Peter, “Lord, save me!” Jesus will stretch out his hand and catch you (Matthew 14:30-31).

This is the first and most immediate step. Pray.

Stop and do it now.

(2) Run to Jesus, who has already conquered temptation in your place.

Running to Jesus is, of course, what we do when we pray. But when you are strongly tempted, don’t just turn to Jesus in general. Run to him for specific, tangible help, remembering that he has already conquered temptation in your place.

For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted…. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 2:18; 4:15-16)

Remember this: Jesus was tempted, not first and foremost as our example, but as our brother, captain, and king. Adam, our first representative, was tempted in paradise and failed. Jesus, the Second Adam and our final representative, was tempted in the desert and conquered. As our hero and champion, Christ has already defeated and beheaded Goliath. He has crushed the serpent’s head. The battle is already won.

So run, weary Christian. Run to your conquering King!

(3) Expect the Lord to give deliverance.

This is his promise. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Expect him to fulfill it.

And keep in mind that the Lord has many ways of delivering you. He may send an affliction or a trial that takes the edge off your appetite for sin and restores your hunger for his Word. “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word” (Psalm 119:67).

He may give you sufficient grace to endure the temptation (2 Corinthians 12:8-9; James 1:12). He may rebuke the enemy, so that he flees from you (Zechariah 3:1-2; James 4:7). Or he may revive you with some refreshing comfort from his Spirit and encouragement from his Word.

But be sure of this: the Lord has more ways to deliver than Satan has ways to tempt. “Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4b, KJV).

(4) Repair the breach and get back on the right path.

Finally, after you’ve found some immediate relief from the Lord, repair the breach and get back on the happy, narrow road of righteousness.

C. S. Lewis said, “A sum canbeputright:butonly by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot ‘develop’ into good. Time does not heal it.”[ii]

It is important, then, to figure out why and how we entered into temptation in the first place. Big sins always follow little sins. Sins of commission usually follow sins of neglect.  When you have found yourself unusually tempted, follow the trail back. You will probably find carelessness, prayerlessness, and neglect.

Ask the Lord to search you and know your heart, to try you and know your thoughts, to see if there is any grievous way in you and to lead you in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-34).

But be careful even in your repentance. Don’t become obsessed with turning from temptation and sin; focus on turning to Christ. In the wise words of Jack Miller, “When you turn to Christ, you don’t have a repentance apart from Christ you just have Christ. Therefore don’t seek repentance or faith as such but seek Christ. When you have Christ you have repentance and faith. Beware of seeking an experience of repentance; just seek an experience of Christ.”[iii]

Christ is the one who both preserves the tempted and restores the fallen (Luke 22:21-22; John 21). So, wherever you are in respect to temptation and sin, seek Christ.

Why you should never feel downcast, deppresed as a christian.

We’ve all had days (and maybe even years) when life just doesn’t seem to be going our way!

I’ve had long seasons of life where I felt like nothing was working and everything was out of whack, and I’ve had frustrating days where I just can’t seem to get anything accomplished. This morning was one of those times…

I was getting all three of our boys ready for school which is a massive undertaking and makes me respect my wife even more because she is normally the one doing it! Amidst the screaming infant and complaining gradeschoolers, there was a mess in the kitchen, a dirty diaper on the floor, toothpaste on the sink and stress in the air. When we FINALLY got out the door, Connor had forgotten something and had to run back in. The door was open just long enough for (I’m not making this up) a bird to fly in the house.

Now, I’ve got to figure out a way to get the bird out of the house and all the kids loaded up as fast as I can. I eventually got the bird out (unharmed) and the kids loaded and just before I pulled out onto the main road, a garbage truck cut me off and started driving about five miles per hour and stopping at every other house. I wasn’t sure whether to scream or laugh at the irony of it.

In the grand scheme of things, a stressful morning doesn’t impact life or eternity all that much, but in those longer seasons of joblessness, sickness, financial stress, marriage strain and other ongoing life events, the stress and frustration can seem overwhelming. Below are four things I’ve learned to remember in those challenging seasons of life that have helped me and I pray they help you as well!

Struggles in life are inevitable, but destruction is optional. Remembering these four principles can make all the difference.

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1. Remember that your Character should always be stronger than your Circumstances.

We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we choose to respond. In those moments when I choose to stop complaining and instead give thanks to God for the good in my life, the parts that seem bad start to seem much less significant. Choose to keep a positive attitude and thankful heart regardless of what you’re going through.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

2. Remember that your Struggles always lead to Strength.

Every difficulty in your life, whether big or small, is something God will use to produce more strength, faith and perseverance in you if you let Him! All your pain has a purpose.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

3. Remember that God’s timing is always perfect.

God’s plans are almost always different from our plans, but His plans are always perfect! Have the patience to wait on His timing instead of forcing your own.

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

4. Remember that God will never leave your side.

You may feel like you’re going through this struggle all alone, but from the moment you ask Jesus to bring you into God’s family, He will be by your side to the end so never lose hope!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

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